We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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