Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
