i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
