Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We are all done wearing pants today
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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