Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Actions speak louder than pants.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
