Duck Duck Cougar?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Holy shit dude........stairs
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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