Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
