Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
