i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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