awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
