I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
