You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
