He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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