i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
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Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
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He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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