you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
They have beer where we have blood.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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