I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
