we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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