They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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