By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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