his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
