I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
