don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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