You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
