I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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