I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
