I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
