respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
