bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
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Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
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She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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