Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
