he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
