but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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