Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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