Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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