Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
