I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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