Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
