who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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