we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
