what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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