...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Welp...herpes.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
