That's intense
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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