Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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