the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
