you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
They have beer where we have blood.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
