Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
