I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
