Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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