Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
