"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Everclear isn't food dammit
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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