Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
