Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
