I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
