I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
