Got a toothbrush?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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