So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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