well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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