When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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