just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
