i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
