paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize