well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
where am i from again
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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