Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dignity is for republicans.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
