from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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