i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
