Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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