Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
