K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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