Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I am mentally ready for anal.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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