The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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